Happy Friday positive thinkers!

We here at Positive Works! have a very exciting announcement to make…

We’re moving our home to the Positivity Works Blog at Fields Family Counseling Services! You’ll be able to get the same dose of positivity that you get when you come to this website only now you’ll just be getting at a different website! So click the link below so that you can still get your positivity on!

Follow us here at: http://ffcounseling.com/positivity-works/

 

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What happens when you sleep? If you ask someone in the scientific community they’ll probably give you some long winded explanation about the different types of brain waves that occur during each stage of sleep. And they’ll definitely tell you about REM sleep and how it’s the longest stage of the sleep cycle and that during REM sleep you are more likely to experience dreaming. They’ll tell you this, but for those of us who don’t want to be bogged down with all of that sleep trivia, we’ll probably just listen and wonder when we’ll be able to go home and experience sleep for ourselves. And that’s because, for most of us, sleep (at its simplest form) is a chance for us to unwind. We don’t have to think about our daily stresses while we sleep; we just get to rest and get refreshed for the next day. And for those of us who do dream, we may actually get excited about the prospect of sleep because sleep means that we get to enter into another world where the rules and regulations of our waking world no longer apply. In dreams, we can jump off of a skyscraper, open up our arms, and soar through the sky like a bird. We get to marry our celebrity crush at a wedding that is so far-fetched and elaborate that it could only occur in a dream. Or we can eat and eat and eat some more and not have to worry about all of those pesky health issues. Each night we enjoy the world that our dreams transport us to because we get to indulge in our deepest desires with zero repercussions. There’s freedom and power in dreaming and that’s why so many people like to do it.

But alas, when the buzzer on our alarm jolts awake in the morning or when the sun peaking through our blinds forces us to awake from our slumber we must get out of our beds, leave our dreams behind, and start on with our days. We can’t sleep forever. We cannot dream forever. We have to get up and live our lives. This is what we have to do, and as much fun as sleeping dreams are, we have to wake up so that we can engage in the dreams that we seek out to pursue while we are awake.

And sometimes are waking dreams are just as exciting and invigorating as the dreams that we have while we are sleeping. We dream of being doctors, lawyers, fashion designers, artists, mothers, fathers, writers, actors, teachers, scientists, mathematicians, CEO’s, motivational speakers, presidents, and senators. When we dream we dream big, but sometimes when we dream in real life we forget to enjoy the new world that our dreams transport us to.

When you decide that you want to be a lawyer instead of an actor, your world is going to be a lot different than somebody who decided that they wanted to be an actor. You’ll meet different people, you’ll work different hours, and you’ll have completely different journeys just because your dreams are different. And sometimes your journey is more difficult than you expected, and when this happens you might even think about giving up on your dream altogether. You want so desperately to have your end goal, but the journey that you’re on may not be what you expected so you make the decision to bail out.

But you shouldn’t bail out positive thinker because your dream is worth fighting for. When you try and achieve a dream you should give it all you got, but while you’re giving it all you got remember that enjoying the process of reaching your dream is just as important as obtaining the dream itself. Do you really want to achieve your dream one day and start to wonder about how you even got there in the first place? When you dream while you’re sleeping you just end up on the top of that skyscraper, but you can never remember how you got up there in the first place. When you marry Brad Pitt in your dream, you don’t remember dating him and you don’t remember how you first met. And the reason that you don’t remember these things is because when you’re dreaming while you’re sleeping you don’t get the privilege of experiencing the journey to your end goal. You don’t get the satisfaction that you feel from working hard by climbing up to the top of the skyscraper. You don’t get to experience the joys and pain that comes from dealing with a relationship everyday. You don’t get to experience that because you’re sleeping and because those dreams that you have while you slumber (no matter how amazing they may be) aren’t real. And it’s true that you may not get to experience a journey during your sleeping dreams, but in real life you do get the opportunity to experience one. It may be a hard and long journey at times, but that’s how you know that you’re living. And putting hard work and dedication into achieving your dream makes that dream even better when you actually do achieve it. Because on that fateful day, when your dream comes true, you’ll know that it wasn’t handed to you and that you gave everything you had to reach it.

Positive thinker, achieving your dream is great, but don’t forget to live in the moment while you’re experiencing the journey to your dream.

And never forget, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” –Dumbledore, The Sorcerer’s Stone

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You can ask any boxer and they will tell you that training takes a lot of preparation and hard work. They have to train their bodies by working them out on a daily basis so that they can stay physically fit. Eating healthy is also a must if they plan on reaching peak physical agility and fitness. And they even have to stay mentally fit as well. They can’t allow their opponents to psych them out on fight day, so they make sure to find ways to not let the nay-Sayers trip them up. They do all of this preparation so that they can be well equipped to put up their best fight on D-day. And when these fighters step into the ring on that fateful day, they don’t know what their future will hold. They don’t have some crystal ball that will tell them whether or not they’ll win the fight. They might end up winning with the best fight of their life or they might end up getting beat so badly that the fight only lasts a few minutes, but even though they do not know the outcome, they still get out there knowing that they have put in all the preparation that they need to be a contender.

The future can be a pretty scary thing for boxers, and it can be equally as terrifying for us. We don’t like the unknown and uncertainties, and the future seems to hold a lot of that. We already know what happened in the past because it already happened, and we know what’s going on in the present because it’s happening right now at this very second, but the future will now and forever more be a mystery to everyone, and this is understandably unsettling.

Even though boxers are uncertain of their futures in the same way that we are uncertain of ours, one of the things they can say when they get into the ring is that they have learned from past mistakes. If they have faced this particular opponent before then they know to watch out for his uppercut and to not fall for all of his tricks. They know how this person fights because they have faced them before, and because they have faced them before, they know what they need to do to have a better chance at beating their foe. They want to get hit less, and they realize that they cannot expect to win if they step into the ring and do the exact same thing that they did in the past when they faced their competitor the last time, so they change it up and adjust their techniques and tactics based upon the lessons that they learned from the past. And even though the outcome of the next fight is uncertain, they can go into the ring with a little bit more confidence because they have these lessons from the past that can guide them to victory.

If boxers going into the ring can carry lessons from the past into there with them then so can you. You see the thing is positive thinker, when you learn from your past, no matter how painful it may be, you can use those lessons and apply them to future challenges that may be similar to what you have already gone through.  Good things have happened to us in the past and so have bad things and we often think about these things. When we think about the good things we smile as we look on at these memories with fondness, but when the bad memories enter into our consciousness we often times become scared of them. We hold on to these bad memories, but most of the time we don’t use them to benefit us in some way like we do with our good memories. So, instead of holding on to the bad things from the past, you should let go of these bad memories. Let go of the memories, but carry any and all lessons that you have learned from your painful past into the future with you.

The future may end up seeming a little less scary when you show up each day with an arsenal of life lessons that can help you to combat any potential threats that you might face. Remember you don’t ever want to show up to a fight unprepared. Even the smallest bit of preparation can give you an edge over whomever or whatever you’re facing, and when you come to your fight with your lessons in hand you will end up having just a little bit more of advantage to help you win that fight!

In the wise words of Rafiki, “Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.”

Learn from your past positive thinkers. Don’t run from it.

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FOMO (also known as the Fear Of Missing Out) is an all too real feeling, especially in this age of social media. People post pictures from their exciting nights out on the town all over Facebook and instagram. Your friends and associates tweet about how much they love their new job. With all of the status updates and snapchats it’s hard not to see how much everyone else is enjoying their lives. Anyone is able to paint a picture of themselves as this person who seems to have their life completely together, and when they do this, sometimes you can’t help but wonder if you’re missing out on something. You may start to think that you should be living a life that’s just as fun and exciting as the person who posts all of their envy-inducing pictures to instagram, but that’s their life positive thinker, not yours.

And the truth of the matter is that most of us only tend to share the good parts about our lives on social media. You hardly ever see anybody posting a picture of an outfit that they look just ok in. You rarely read a status update where somebody says that they kind of like the job that they’re at. And you can probably count on one hand the number of times you’ve been on one of your social media accounts and read about somebody having a mediocre weekend. You never see these kinds of things. What you just so happen to see is the exact opposite. Nobody wants to highlight their less than exciting lives, so the only time we feel the urge to share tidbits and snippets from our lives is when we have something great to share. And when you only see the good in somebody else’s life you also may start to think that they are only experiencing good things, but even that insta-famous guy or gal that you’re following has a life where things don’t go their way 100% of the time. Their life is not perfect even though it may seem like it is through their perfectly constructed life that they portray through social media.

It’s also quite possible that this life that they are displaying to the world may not actually be the life that they want to live. Just because somebody is smiling from ear to ear in their Facebook profile picture at some hot party in an upscale part of town doesn’t mean that they are enjoying that party as much as they are letting on. It’s very possible that they are, but it’s equally as possible that they are just putting on a show that their instagram followers and Facebook friends will like. Advancements in technology are a wonderful thing. With it, we are able to achieve things like life-saving medical procedures and ways to make our planet more sustainable, but with it we also have a few things that aren’t so great. Unfortunately, with this wave of connectedness that things like Instagram and Twitter bring us, we’ve started to move towards a world where are worth seems to hinge upon how many likes our photos get and how many re-tweets we receive. We want to be liked and our social media accounts make it possible for people to tell us that they like what we’re doing almost instantaneously, which can seem like a good thing. However when you don’t get that like that you’re craving, you may start to think a little bit less of yourself, but, believe it or not, you are more than just what you display on your social media accounts.

If you’re happy with where your life is at positive thinker, then forget about FOMO. You’re not missing out on anything because you’re living the life that you want to live. It may not be as glamorous or exciting as what other people portray, but as long as you’re out there doing what you love to do then that’s all that should really matter. True happiness comes when whatever is on the inside matches what is on the outside. If spending your Saturday nights curled up by the fireplace with your favorite novel is going to make you happy then do that. Don’t try and live a life that’s full of glamour and parties just so that other people can think that you have an amazing life. Being authentic to who you are is what you should aim for positive thinker. Don’t worry about what other people are doing; worry about what you’re doing, and try to live a life that you’re going to be happy with.

Remember, “Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.”

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Positive thinker I want you to recall some time in your life when something didn’t go according to plan. Now you may be asking yourself, “Isn’t this blog supposed to be some sort of haven for positivity?” Well worry not, it is still a blog dedicated to positivity, and recalling a disappointing time in your life may not seem very positive, but for the purposes of this one particular post, I would like you to recall a disappointing moment in your life…

Do you have it yet?

Ok, Good.

Now, put yourself back in that moment. This disappointment that you felt didn’t make you feel very good, did it? Disappointment never does, but sometimes things happen that are completely out of our control. We may plan and plan and plan some more so that we can make sure that what we have envisioned for ourselves actually comes to pass, but sometimes all of that planning won’t stop us from experiencing disappointment. Sometimes unforeseen factors occur, and these factors get in the way of making that thing that we wanted to happen happen.

Now this next part of the exercise will be easier for you to do the further in the past your disappointment occurred. If your disappointment happened this morning, then it may be a tad bit harder for you to do the next part, so if you genuinely can’t continue on with the next part of the activity then try coming back and doing it in a day or two. Chances are though, if you think hard enough you will be able to do this next part right along with those people who recalled a disappointing moment from years ago.

Next I want you to recall at least one thing that went your way after that thing that didn’t go your way happened. Do you remember that time that you planned and planned and planned some more, but instead of things not working out in your favor, they actually ended up going your way? And don’t just limit yourself to thinking about one moment when something went your way. Chances are that if you sat down and made a list of times that things went your way, that those items on your list would exceed the amount of moments that things didn’t go your way. Yes it’s true that sometimes things don’t end up working in the way that we want them to work, but it’s equally true that there are times when all of that planning will pay off and we can actually achieve what we want to achieve. And when that does happen, it makes us feel great!

Sometimes it’s hard for us to think of the good in our lives. It’s a lot easier for us to think about the negative things that have happened to us. When we feel bad about ourselves or about our situation it becomes all too easy for us to think about more bad moments, but that’s the last thing that you should be doing when you find yourself in a situation where things haven’t gone your way. If you ever find yourself staring down at another moment when something hasn’t turned out the way that you wanted it to turn out, then you should try and think about moments when things have turned out the way that you wanted them to. Doing this will not only help to bring you out of your bad mood, but it will also help to encourage you to look forward to receiving more good moments in the future.

Positive thinker, one disappointment doesn’t mean that your life is going to be full of nothing but disappointments. Nobody’s life goes according to plan 100 percent of the time simply because that’s not how life works. We have disappointments and things don’t always go our way, but just because this is true doesn’t mean that we have to allow these moments to have control over our lives. You can choose to dwell on them if you wan to, but I guarantee you that if you do that you’re only going to attract more negativity into your life. However, if you want more positivity to enter into your life then choosing to not dwell on these moments can actually help you to bring more positivity in your life. If you focus on the next big thing and wanting the next big thing to happen then you might actually be able to get that next big thing. On the other hand, if you spend time focusing on that thing that didn’t go your way then you won’t have time to focus on having the next big good thing enter into your life.

Life may have disappointing moments for you positive thinker, but you should leave these moments in the past where they belong. Focus on the good moments so that you can attract more of these moments. And better than that, focus on the here and now and be present in where you are in your life right now so that you will be able to prepare yourself for whatever good may come your way next.

Remember, “Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.”

 

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Have you ever meant someone who is truly passionate about something? This person could be passionate about his or her career or maybe even a hobby that they have. Or perhaps they just so happen to be passionate about some worthy cause like feeding starving children or stopping animal abuse. It’s even possible that you might know someone out there who is passionate about another person in their life. And when you meet these kinds of people or hear about them do you ever think about how they’re able to do the things that they do? Have you ever wondered why somebody can sit in a tree for weeks and protest against some big business that is destroying a forest full of wild life? Have you ever looked at someone and wondered how they could put so many hours into their job to the point that they fail to spend enough time with their loved ones and start to lose sleep, and yet, despite all this, they still have a smile on their face? Or have you ever heard of someone who decided to move to some poor village in a third world country so that they could spend time helping out those who don’t have as much as they do? All of these scenarios involve different people doing very different things, but they do have one common factor. All of these people are passionate about these things that they have decided to devote so much of their life to; they have a why.

And they don’t just have a why. They have a strong why. These people can’t do the things that they do without having a why that’s strong enough. You don’t leave your family, give up all of your gizmos and gadgets, and move to the middle of nowhere because you’re kind of into helping make life better for people who are living in poverty. You do it because it’s a cause that you strongly believe in.

Or you could do all of these big acts if your why wasn’t that strong, but if you did do it you probably wouldn’t be happy while doing it. Joining the Peace Corps or some other similar organization isn’t for everybody and that’s because not everyone can find a why that’s big enough and strong enough to help them through their time of service. Wanting other people to think that you’re a good person isn’t going to get you through all of those years, but truly wanting to make a difference in the lives of those who are less fortunate probably will.

And p­­­­­­ositive thinkers, you need to find your whys in everyday situations too. So figure out the reason why you’re working that job that you have. Find out the reason why you’re in the relationship with that guy or that girl. Find out the reason why you get up and go to church every Sunday. And find out the why behind why you go to the places that you go. Finding your whys aren’t just for the people who are deciding to give up their life of luxury in order to join the Peace Corps. It’s for everyone.

The chances are, if the whys behind whatever you’re doing in your everyday life can support the activities that you’re doing then you’re going to have enough energy and determination to keep up with those activities even when they get tough. If the why behind the activities that you’re doing aren’t strong enough then you have two options…

You can either choose to give up on that thing that you’re doing that doesn’t have a big enough why for you, or you can search to find another why that is big enough. And neither of these options are necessarily bad decisions for you too make. If you want to keep up with whatever activity you’re doing then finding a new why that’s stronger will help you to keep on doing that activity even when you’ve lost some interest in it. Sometimes your why needs to change and there’s nothing wrong with that because as we change our whys might have to change right along with us. And if not having a big enough why is problematic for you and if you’re unable to figure out a why that is big enough for you to keep on doing that thing that you don’t want to do then giving up on it might be what’s best for you. That thing might not be important enough for you to keep on pushing through with it, but if it is important to you, and you do want to keep on going on then make sure that you find a strong enough why that will help you to keep on moving forward. ­­­­

Positive thinker, the next time you take on something new or the next time you find yourself loathing an activity that you’re engaging in ask yourself this…

“Why am I doing this?”

“What’s driving me to do this?”

“What’s that thing that’s going to push me forward even when things start to get difficult?”

“What’s my why?”

You have to have a why positive thinker…

What’s yours?

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I have a serious question that I want you to think about positive thinkers…

How happy are you with how your life is going?

If your answer to this question is that I’m pretty happy with how my life is going or some variation of this answer then good for you! Keep on doing whatever it is that you’re doing that’s making you feel that way. For those of you who aren’t too happy with how your life is going, this next part is for you.

People can live a hundred years and end up not truly living a single day of those hundred years. If you’re wondering how this can be true, then ponder this…

What’s the point in living a hundred years if you’re not going to make sure that you make those years count?

If you’re not living a life that you enjoy, then are you truly living? Your life should be full of happy moments positive thinker. And in case you didn’t know it, happiness is a state of mind, so you can choose to be happy. If you’re not happy now, then all you need to do is decide that you’re not going to take being unhappy anymore. Instead, choose happiness. And the first step to finding happiness is for you to decide to choose positivity over negativity.

You can do this by becoming more aware of how you’re feeling and when you’re feeling it. When you pay attention to your emotions as they happen to you then you can change them if you don’t like the affect that they’re having on you. For instance, if you’re having a conversation with a friend, be alert and aware of how you’re feeling the entire time that you are conversing with this individual. If the conversation makes you feel happy then allow yourself to feel happy, but if the conversation doesn’t make you feel happy then being aware of your feelings while you’re feeling them can allow you to notice that the conversation is making you unhappy. And if the conversation is making you unhappy, then you can do something to change that unhappy feeling. Don’t let the moment pass and then remember hours later that you were unhappy earlier and should have changed your way of thinking when your unhappiness was occurring. Yes you may still remember in the future to not allow that kind of event to make you feel unhappy, but if you learn how to address how you’re feeling in the moment when that unhappiness trigger occurs then you will be better equipped for future moments when something similar happens. Don’t let the unexpected and unwanted things that enter into your life stop you from being happy. We are all going to deal with bad moments. That’s just a part of life, but we don’t have to let these moments stop us from living our life with joy.

And positive thinker, part of living with joy is living a life that gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment, not emptiness. If you wake up everyday and think to yourself that there has to be more to life than this life that you’re living, then you’re probably right. You’re not supposed to have that feeling. You shouldn’t have that feeling because you were put here on this earth to live your life to the fullest. If you’re not feeling fulfilled then it’s your job to go out into the world and find that something that makes you excited to live. And don’t live somebody else’s version of a fulfilling life. Live your version of what it should be. You’re life is a gift positive thinker and gifts are meant to bring joy to the person that they are given to, so you should enjoy your gift of life for your entire life, just like the oldest man in the world did until the day he died…

Last Tuesday Yasutaro Koide, the oldest man in the world, passed away. He was 112 years old. In August, when he became the world’s oldest man, he was quoted as saying that his secret to living a long life was due to the fact that he didn’t smoke or drink, that he tried to not overdo things, and that he tried to “live with joy.” This last part is the critical part. He chose to live life with joy. He could’ve done all of those other things, but without living with joy, those 112 years of life probably wouldn’t’ve been as fulfilling or special. We can watch what we eat and we can refrain from drinking and not overdoing things, but if we do all that just so that we can live to be over a hundred years old but we fail to live those hundred years with joy then all that other stuff doesn’t really matter.

Remember positive thinker, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

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When I was in high school, I was on the track and field team. Some of my fondest memories from high school happened during track practices and track meets. I absolutely loved feeling the tartan surface of the track underneath my feet as I sprinted down the lanes. I adored how my heart raced as I flew through the air and into a giant pile of sand at the end of the jumping pit. And I still remember counting my steps so that I could glide smoothly over a bar hanging five feet in the air before landing on a giant pillow-like surface. I loved all of these moments of competition, but more than that, I loved getting to see the joy on my friends’ faces as they competed in their events. For me, cheering my friends on in their events was just as important as it was for me to compete in my own events.

One moment that will stay with me forever is one of the 4×400 relays that my friend competed in during our sophomore year. This particular race was special because it was against a school that we usually had no chance of beating. Everyone on this other track team, no matter if they were running or participating in the field events, was really good, but for the first time in a long time, our school actually had a 4×4 team that was pretty good too. The 4×4 was always the last event of the track meet, so everyone who wasn’t participating in the 4×4 was able to actually watch the last event of the day…

The sun had just started to set and a cool breeze danced around the track as my friends and I stood around the edge of the field waiting for the start of the race…

“On your mark,” the official said as the crowd grew quiet. “Set,” he continued as the athletes stilled into their starting positions.

“BANG,” the sound of the gun yelled as the girls took off running.

As we watched the first legs of the two teams go against each other, we realized that they were pretty much neck and neck the entire time. The race continued on, and by the time the first leg of our team handed off the baton to the second leg, we had inched out in front of the other team. With our eyes locked on the race, we watched as our girl increased the gap between her and the girl from the other team. By the time our third leg had gotten the baton, there was so much space between us and the other team that my teammates around me excitedly started to cheer and scream with such ferocity and vigor that you would have thought that our girls were competing for the Olympic gold. My good friend was the final leg for our 4X4 team since she was the fastest, so when our third girl handed the baton off to her we just knew that she would bring home the win for us. As we yelled and cheered for her during the first half of her lap, it seemed like we were on track to win. The girl from the other team was at least 200 meters behind her, and victory was so close we could reach out and touch it, but as my friend pulled around to the last stretch of the race we could tell something was off. She started to slow down, and by the time she hit the last 50 meters of the race she started leaning forward, and the next thing we knew she was falling towards the ground.

In unison, the girls around me gasped as she hit the ground. We stood their holding our breaths as we saw her struggling to get back up. With our encouragement she was able to stand up again, but this time she only moved a few feet before falling back down to the ground once again. Motionless, she laid their in the middle of the track as our coaches rushed forward to check on her. Those of us standing on the sidelines ran as close as we could get to her before our coaches told us to stay back. As we waited there hoping and praying that she was alright, the girl from the other team ran by my friend and straight through to the finish line, taking first place. The race was over, and we had lost, but what my friend did next after the race was over was something that she did not have to do. After she gained her composure back, she stood up and slowly started to limp to the finish line. We could tell she was still in pain with each and every laboring step that she took, but despite this she kept going. She may not have gotten to the end of the race with the same speed that she started it with, but she finished it, and that’s what counted.

My friend could have given up. No one would have blamed her if she had chosen to walk off the track and not finish the race, but she didn’t. She kept going. Sometimes giving up seems like the best option. When it seems like you’ve given your all and you don’t have anymore to give, giving up really does seem very appealing, but you don’t have to give up positive thinker. It doesn’t matter if you stumble. You can still get up and keep going. Limp to the finish line if you have to. Just get up and keep going. In the end, it doesn’t matter how long it takes you to finish the race. What does matter is that you can say that you gave it your all when you finally reach that finish line.

Remember…

“If you can’t fly, then run,

If you can’t run, then walk,

If you can’t walk, then crawl,

But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

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Acronyms get used all of the time. I’m sure you know quite a few of them yourself. For instance, you probably used them in school to try and remember things that didn’t come as easy to you as you would have liked them to. For those of us who weren’t the best in math, we used Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally or PEMDAS (Parentheses, Exponent, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction) in order to figure out what we were supposed to do first whenever we tried to remember our order of operations. And for those of us who weren’t musically inclined we used Every Good Boy Does Fine so that we could fill out our music sheets the right way.

Acronyms almost seemed like a necessity as we went through school. We might not need them anymore to help us get through math class or music class, but we can still use them to get through difficult times in our adult lives.

I recently came across a few acronyms (I wish I could take credit for coming up with them on my own), and I thought that it would be nice to share them with you positive thinkers. These three acronyms spell out words that are typically thought to have a negative connotation wrapped around them. And when we hear words that are dripping with negativity, it becomes difficult for us to move from a place of feeling down and out to a place of feeling good about ourselves (and that’s what we really need whenever we’re confronted with negativity). Merriam Webster may have a negative definition listed for these words, but when they are transformed into the following acronyms, the message speaks to one of positivity and resilience in the face of trying times instead of negativity and hopelessness…

F.A.I.L, or First Attempt In Learning, is what you should think of whenever you don’t succeed at something. This is a particularly good weapon to have in hand whenever you experience failure. Many times when we fail, we feel like giving up. We see our failure as a sign for us to move on, but it doesn’t have to be that. When you fail at something that just means that you haven’t learned everything that you need to know in order for you to succeed at whatever you’re attempting to do. Now when you fail, you can think of this acronym and use it to go back to the drawing board and come up with a way to succeed for the next time.

The next acronym is E.N.D. Now, E.N.D no longer means the end. I want you to remember that it means Effort Never Dies. Just because somebody has told you that you can’t go any further doesn’t mean that you have to stop going. There will always be bigger, better, and higher goals for you to reach, which means that you can keep on pushing forward and achieving. And even if you hit a road block or something that may appear to be an end, it doesn’t mean that all of your effort dies with this barricade. All it means is that the effort that you have put in thus far can lead you to a new path that works even better.

The last word is N.O. And whenever you hear the word N.O, I want you to realize that this is just your Next Opportunity. Just because this person doesn’t want you, doesn’t mean that somebody else won’t. If you didn’t get that job that you wanted, that just means that you can have another opportunity to find a job that might end up being even better than the one that turned you down. If that guy or that girl that you like doesn’t like you back then now you can have a new opportunity to meet somebody that does like you. I know that it totally sounds cliché, but it’s true what they say, “When one door closes, another door opens.” And all that means is that when somebody says no to you it sets you up to have a different opportunity to have another person that will say yes. So the next time a door closes in your face, look for another door that will let you in.

If you ever come across any of these words in your life, I encourage you to not turn to Webster’s definition to define your experience. Instead, try and recall these acronyms. If you do that positive thinker, you will find yourself dealing with your situation in a much more positive and brighter light.

Remember…

“If you fail never give up because F.A.I.L means, ‘first attempt in learning.’

End is not the end. In fact E.N.D means ‘effort never dies.’

If you get no as answer, remember N.O means ‘next opportunity.’”

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Love. It makes the world go ‘round (or at least that’s what I’ve been told). Many of us experience our first taste of how wonderful love can be when we first come into this world. Our families are usually the first ones who love us and the first ones who show us what it means to love somebody else, because, as we experience the love of our families, we also learn how to love them back. And from there we move on to love more people than just the family that we grew up with. Throughout our life we go on to love our friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and so many more people that enter into our lives.

There’s a sense of comfort in knowing that you’re loved by someone else, and when you love someone else you’re able to provide that same comforting feeling to the person that you love. We learn to love others and for many of us it comes easily, but how easy do you find it to love yourself?

When we learn about love, a lot of us are also taught about the importance of loving ourselves, but this seems a lot harder to do when the messages and experiences that we encounter on a daily basis teach us otherwise. Our loved ones might encourage us to love ourselves, but the media and magazines and ads teach us a different message. They teach us that we should love ourselves less if we don’t act a certain way or dress a certain way or look a certain way. We are taught these messages from the people that pretend to love us and want the best for us, but we shouldn’t listen to these messages because if they truly did love us and have our best interest at heart then they would encourage us to love ourselves the same way that our loved ones encourage us to love ourselves.

And when you think about self-love positive thinker try asking yourself this question…

We do things for the people in our lives that we love without hesitation simply because we love them, but do we treat ourselves the same way? When you practice self-love you should treat yourself the same way that you treat the people in your life that you do love. For instance, you wouldn’t want to hurt somebody that you love, so you shouldn’t hurt yourself when you’re trying to practice loving yourself. Once you identify the way that you treat others that you love, you can then start doing those same things, but for yourself.

If you don’t place enough of an emphasis on loving yourself positive thinker, then I encourage you to try to make a greater effort in doing so. If you don’t know where to start when it comes to practicing self-love then try starting here…

Each day when you wake up, identify something that you need (not something that you want…something that you need). Chances are that you probably don’t have to put much effort into identifying what you need. It could be something as simple as the fact that you need someone to smile at you before you can start off positively with your day. Or you may be exhausted and you need some more energy before you start your day tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what your need is. Just identify one, and then movie on to the next part of the exercise. Once you identify your need (remember it’s your need, not your want), then go out and get it. You don’t have to wait for somebody else to give it to you; do it for yourself. If you need someone to smile at you so that you can have a good start to your day, then wake up, stand in front of your mirror, and give yourself the biggest smile imaginable. If you’re exhausted from your day at work, then only do the things that you absolutely have to do so that you can get to bed earlier and have more energy the next day.

Don’t listen to the media or magazines or ads or any other voices out there that are trying to tell you that you don’t deserve to love yourself. You are worthy of love just the way you are, so love yourself! Positive thinker, loving other people is important, but loving yourself is just as important. It is true what they say…

Love does make the world go ‘round, but make sure you include self-love in that love as well.

Good Vibes

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