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Positive thinker I want you to recall some time in your life when something didn’t go according to plan. Now you may be asking yourself, “Isn’t this blog supposed to be some sort of haven for positivity?” Well worry not, it is still a blog dedicated to positivity, and recalling a disappointing time in your life may not seem very positive, but for the purposes of this one particular post, I would like you to recall a disappointing moment in your life…

Do you have it yet?

Ok, Good.

Now, put yourself back in that moment. This disappointment that you felt didn’t make you feel very good, did it? Disappointment never does, but sometimes things happen that are completely out of our control. We may plan and plan and plan some more so that we can make sure that what we have envisioned for ourselves actually comes to pass, but sometimes all of that planning won’t stop us from experiencing disappointment. Sometimes unforeseen factors occur, and these factors get in the way of making that thing that we wanted to happen happen.

Now this next part of the exercise will be easier for you to do the further in the past your disappointment occurred. If your disappointment happened this morning, then it may be a tad bit harder for you to do the next part, so if you genuinely can’t continue on with the next part of the activity then try coming back and doing it in a day or two. Chances are though, if you think hard enough you will be able to do this next part right along with those people who recalled a disappointing moment from years ago.

Next I want you to recall at least one thing that went your way after that thing that didn’t go your way happened. Do you remember that time that you planned and planned and planned some more, but instead of things not working out in your favor, they actually ended up going your way? And don’t just limit yourself to thinking about one moment when something went your way. Chances are that if you sat down and made a list of times that things went your way, that those items on your list would exceed the amount of moments that things didn’t go your way. Yes it’s true that sometimes things don’t end up working in the way that we want them to work, but it’s equally true that there are times when all of that planning will pay off and we can actually achieve what we want to achieve. And when that does happen, it makes us feel great!

Sometimes it’s hard for us to think of the good in our lives. It’s a lot easier for us to think about the negative things that have happened to us. When we feel bad about ourselves or about our situation it becomes all too easy for us to think about more bad moments, but that’s the last thing that you should be doing when you find yourself in a situation where things haven’t gone your way. If you ever find yourself staring down at another moment when something hasn’t turned out the way that you wanted it to turn out, then you should try and think about moments when things have turned out the way that you wanted them to. Doing this will not only help to bring you out of your bad mood, but it will also help to encourage you to look forward to receiving more good moments in the future.

Positive thinker, one disappointment doesn’t mean that your life is going to be full of nothing but disappointments. Nobody’s life goes according to plan 100 percent of the time simply because that’s not how life works. We have disappointments and things don’t always go our way, but just because this is true doesn’t mean that we have to allow these moments to have control over our lives. You can choose to dwell on them if you wan to, but I guarantee you that if you do that you’re only going to attract more negativity into your life. However, if you want more positivity to enter into your life then choosing to not dwell on these moments can actually help you to bring more positivity in your life. If you focus on the next big thing and wanting the next big thing to happen then you might actually be able to get that next big thing. On the other hand, if you spend time focusing on that thing that didn’t go your way then you won’t have time to focus on having the next big good thing enter into your life.

Life may have disappointing moments for you positive thinker, but you should leave these moments in the past where they belong. Focus on the good moments so that you can attract more of these moments. And better than that, focus on the here and now and be present in where you are in your life right now so that you will be able to prepare yourself for whatever good may come your way next.

Remember, “Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.”

 

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When I was in high school, I was on the track and field team. Some of my fondest memories from high school happened during track practices and track meets. I absolutely loved feeling the tartan surface of the track underneath my feet as I sprinted down the lanes. I adored how my heart raced as I flew through the air and into a giant pile of sand at the end of the jumping pit. And I still remember counting my steps so that I could glide smoothly over a bar hanging five feet in the air before landing on a giant pillow-like surface. I loved all of these moments of competition, but more than that, I loved getting to see the joy on my friends’ faces as they competed in their events. For me, cheering my friends on in their events was just as important as it was for me to compete in my own events.

One moment that will stay with me forever is one of the 4×400 relays that my friend competed in during our sophomore year. This particular race was special because it was against a school that we usually had no chance of beating. Everyone on this other track team, no matter if they were running or participating in the field events, was really good, but for the first time in a long time, our school actually had a 4×4 team that was pretty good too. The 4×4 was always the last event of the track meet, so everyone who wasn’t participating in the 4×4 was able to actually watch the last event of the day…

The sun had just started to set and a cool breeze danced around the track as my friends and I stood around the edge of the field waiting for the start of the race…

“On your mark,” the official said as the crowd grew quiet. “Set,” he continued as the athletes stilled into their starting positions.

“BANG,” the sound of the gun yelled as the girls took off running.

As we watched the first legs of the two teams go against each other, we realized that they were pretty much neck and neck the entire time. The race continued on, and by the time the first leg of our team handed off the baton to the second leg, we had inched out in front of the other team. With our eyes locked on the race, we watched as our girl increased the gap between her and the girl from the other team. By the time our third leg had gotten the baton, there was so much space between us and the other team that my teammates around me excitedly started to cheer and scream with such ferocity and vigor that you would have thought that our girls were competing for the Olympic gold. My good friend was the final leg for our 4X4 team since she was the fastest, so when our third girl handed the baton off to her we just knew that she would bring home the win for us. As we yelled and cheered for her during the first half of her lap, it seemed like we were on track to win. The girl from the other team was at least 200 meters behind her, and victory was so close we could reach out and touch it, but as my friend pulled around to the last stretch of the race we could tell something was off. She started to slow down, and by the time she hit the last 50 meters of the race she started leaning forward, and the next thing we knew she was falling towards the ground.

In unison, the girls around me gasped as she hit the ground. We stood their holding our breaths as we saw her struggling to get back up. With our encouragement she was able to stand up again, but this time she only moved a few feet before falling back down to the ground once again. Motionless, she laid their in the middle of the track as our coaches rushed forward to check on her. Those of us standing on the sidelines ran as close as we could get to her before our coaches told us to stay back. As we waited there hoping and praying that she was alright, the girl from the other team ran by my friend and straight through to the finish line, taking first place. The race was over, and we had lost, but what my friend did next after the race was over was something that she did not have to do. After she gained her composure back, she stood up and slowly started to limp to the finish line. We could tell she was still in pain with each and every laboring step that she took, but despite this she kept going. She may not have gotten to the end of the race with the same speed that she started it with, but she finished it, and that’s what counted.

My friend could have given up. No one would have blamed her if she had chosen to walk off the track and not finish the race, but she didn’t. She kept going. Sometimes giving up seems like the best option. When it seems like you’ve given your all and you don’t have anymore to give, giving up really does seem very appealing, but you don’t have to give up positive thinker. It doesn’t matter if you stumble. You can still get up and keep going. Limp to the finish line if you have to. Just get up and keep going. In the end, it doesn’t matter how long it takes you to finish the race. What does matter is that you can say that you gave it your all when you finally reach that finish line.

Remember…

“If you can’t fly, then run,

If you can’t run, then walk,

If you can’t walk, then crawl,

But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

acronym

Acronyms get used all of the time. I’m sure you know quite a few of them yourself. For instance, you probably used them in school to try and remember things that didn’t come as easy to you as you would have liked them to. For those of us who weren’t the best in math, we used Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally or PEMDAS (Parentheses, Exponent, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction) in order to figure out what we were supposed to do first whenever we tried to remember our order of operations. And for those of us who weren’t musically inclined we used Every Good Boy Does Fine so that we could fill out our music sheets the right way.

Acronyms almost seemed like a necessity as we went through school. We might not need them anymore to help us get through math class or music class, but we can still use them to get through difficult times in our adult lives.

I recently came across a few acronyms (I wish I could take credit for coming up with them on my own), and I thought that it would be nice to share them with you positive thinkers. These three acronyms spell out words that are typically thought to have a negative connotation wrapped around them. And when we hear words that are dripping with negativity, it becomes difficult for us to move from a place of feeling down and out to a place of feeling good about ourselves (and that’s what we really need whenever we’re confronted with negativity). Merriam Webster may have a negative definition listed for these words, but when they are transformed into the following acronyms, the message speaks to one of positivity and resilience in the face of trying times instead of negativity and hopelessness…

F.A.I.L, or First Attempt In Learning, is what you should think of whenever you don’t succeed at something. This is a particularly good weapon to have in hand whenever you experience failure. Many times when we fail, we feel like giving up. We see our failure as a sign for us to move on, but it doesn’t have to be that. When you fail at something that just means that you haven’t learned everything that you need to know in order for you to succeed at whatever you’re attempting to do. Now when you fail, you can think of this acronym and use it to go back to the drawing board and come up with a way to succeed for the next time.

The next acronym is E.N.D. Now, E.N.D no longer means the end. I want you to remember that it means Effort Never Dies. Just because somebody has told you that you can’t go any further doesn’t mean that you have to stop going. There will always be bigger, better, and higher goals for you to reach, which means that you can keep on pushing forward and achieving. And even if you hit a road block or something that may appear to be an end, it doesn’t mean that all of your effort dies with this barricade. All it means is that the effort that you have put in thus far can lead you to a new path that works even better.

The last word is N.O. And whenever you hear the word N.O, I want you to realize that this is just your Next Opportunity. Just because this person doesn’t want you, doesn’t mean that somebody else won’t. If you didn’t get that job that you wanted, that just means that you can have another opportunity to find a job that might end up being even better than the one that turned you down. If that guy or that girl that you like doesn’t like you back then now you can have a new opportunity to meet somebody that does like you. I know that it totally sounds cliché, but it’s true what they say, “When one door closes, another door opens.” And all that means is that when somebody says no to you it sets you up to have a different opportunity to have another person that will say yes. So the next time a door closes in your face, look for another door that will let you in.

If you ever come across any of these words in your life, I encourage you to not turn to Webster’s definition to define your experience. Instead, try and recall these acronyms. If you do that positive thinker, you will find yourself dealing with your situation in a much more positive and brighter light.

Remember…

“If you fail never give up because F.A.I.L means, ‘first attempt in learning.’

End is not the end. In fact E.N.D means ‘effort never dies.’

If you get no as answer, remember N.O means ‘next opportunity.’”

fear

Have you ever wanted something really bad? Now I’m not talking about really wanting the latest version of the iphone or the newest pair of Jordans. What I’m talking about is a desire for something so big and so deep that if you got it it would change your life forever. If you haven’t thought about something entering into your life that’s that life altering then try thinking about it now. What would it be? How do you feel when you think about it? Excited? Overjoyed? Maybe even a little bit afraid?

Excitement is to be expected whenever you think about a big happy something happening to you, but why is it that when we think about doing things that we really want to do that fear also seems to accompany it sometimes? It would be a lot simpler if when we felt excited about something big happening that we only felt that excitement and not the fear too.

And where does that fear come from? Are you afraid of being happy? Do you think that you don’t deserve to have this thing that you really want? If that’s the case, then let me tell you that you do deserve happiness positive thinker. You shouldn’t feel afraid of receiving happiness because happiness is something that you’re entitled to just for the mere fact that you have air in your lungs and a heart beat in your chest.

Or maybe if you’re not afraid of being happy then you may be afraid of the journey towards happiness. The end goal doesn’t scare you, but the path that you need to take in order to reach the end is what scares you. You’re not sure of what you’re going to experience on that path and that’s a scary feeling. Uncertainty is scary. Your path may be so smooth that you don’t experience any rough roads along the way, but that scenario isn’t what leaves you feeling afraid. The rough path with rocks and bumps and dips and sharp curves is the one that’s scary.

If the journey is what’s scaring you positive thinker then try not to focus on that rough road. Focus on the smooth one. When you expect for the road ahead to be a rough one, chances are that you’re going to have a tough journey ahead of you. On the other hand, if you expect for the journey to be smooth then you’re less likely to experience that bumpy path. Don’t expect for bad things to happen positive thinker. Expect for good things to happen, but still prepare yourself for any possible rough patches that you may experience. If you are focusing on an easy journey and you actually start to experience that easy journey that you’ve been expecting then any minor bump that may occur on your path won’t seem too bad because most of your journey was smooth sailing to start with.

And if you can’t seem to get that rough road out of your head then try answering this question…

How often is the fear of the experience that you built up in your head scarier than what you actually experience in real life? Most of the times we concoct a scenario in our head that’s so terrifying that we don’t want to do whatever that scary thing is. But, when we experience that thing that we have been so afraid of, we usually end up only experiencing a fraction of the pain that we imagined in our minds. So, next time you feel afraid of something, make a point to remember one of those moments when you were afraid of doing something only to have it end up not being as scary as you had imagined it to be. Use that moment to push through this new fear. Use it to remind yourself that whatever you’re going to experience is not nearly as scary as you’re making it out to be.

In life, sometimes the fear that you experience on your journey will seem like it’s just so overwhelming that not even the potential excitement of experiencing that end event seems like enough for you to want to take the plunge, but I urge you positive thinker to take that plunge. Put yourself in the moment of receiving that thing that you really want. If you can feel the happiness radiating throughout your body just by thinking about that moment then wouldn’t you want to do anything to experience that elation in real life, even if it means you have to push through some fear to get there? Fear gets in our way all of the time. It would be nice if we never had to deal with it, but we do, so the best thing that we can do when we’re faced with fear is to look it in the face and push it out of our way because whatever lies on the other side of the monster is going to be worth it.

Fear is a bully, but don’t let it beat you down. Step up and face it, and you’ll be surprised what you’ll find behind your defeated foe.

Positive thinkers, whenever you come face to face with fear just remember this simple quote to get you through it, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

Let this be your motivation. Let it help you to achieve what you want to achieve out of life!

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Struggles. We all have to face them at one point or another. Having struggles that we have to face may be a part of life that we have to deal with, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be a constant part of our lives.

The next time you face a major struggle in your life, try taking a step back away from the situation. Sometimes when you find yourself facing something tough you become so overwhelmed with the problem that you have to face that you never really get a chance to fully look at the challenge that you’re facing for what it is. When you’re first faced with your problem, it may seem scarier and more difficult than it actually is, but when you step away from your problem for awhile you may gain some much needed clarity about how to tackle it.

When you were in school, did you ever have problems finding the answer to a problem on your homework or on a test? You knew that you knew the material and you knew that you studied and paid attention in class, but for some reason you just couldn’t figure out the answer. The harder you tried to figure out the answer the more frustrated you would become because the answer wasn’t coming to you. You may have even worked yourself up to the point that you had decided to give up on finding the answer. I know that scenario happened to me on more than one occasion, but I also never got to the point of giving up. Just before I reached that point, I would put my work to the side and take a break from the problem. I wouldn’t focus on anything, and I would just let my mind take a rest, or I might have even tried to focus on another problem that I knew I could tackle at that moment, and nine times out of ten, I was able to come back to that original problem later on and figure out the answer. When you stop putting so much pressure and strain on yourself to figure out a solution to your problem right a way you may actually end up relaxing enough to come up with a concrete way of dealing with your problem. The answer to your problem is there positive thinker; you just have to be patient and creative enough to find it.

On the other hand when you experience a new struggle, you may find the urge to ignore it completely. Stepping away from your problem momentarily to gain some insight is beneficial, but choosing to ignore it forever is far from helpful. Just because you’ve made the decision to not face your problems doesn’t mean that your problems are going to go away.

If you’re sick and you choose to ignore the fact that you’re sick you’re not going to get any better. You may put off going to the doctor, thinking that you’ll be fine and that you’ll just will yourself to get better, but that’s not necessarily going to make you well again. If you’re sick and you continue on with your day to day routine, you’re not going to get any better. In fact, the opposite is more likely to happen. By choosing to ignore the fact that you’re sick and by continuing to push yourself just as hard as you did when you were well, you will end up making yourself sicker as a result. However, if you choose to acknowledge the fact that you’re sick, and once you choose to seek the proper help, you will end up getting better as a result. The same thing rings true for dealing with your struggles. You can put off your problems day after day, but that will only make matters worse for you.  But once you choose to accept the fact that you have a problem then you can finally seek the help that you need to overcome that problem. The solution may not always be as simple as taking some cough syrup and Nyquil. Sometimes you may think that you need to seek outside help to get rid of your problem, and if that’s what you need to do to fix your problem then do it. It’s your struggle positive thinker, and you need to do what you have to do to figure out how to overcome it, even if it means seeking outside help.

Positive thinker when you fear your struggles, you are giving your problems more power than they deserve. Why should you let some outside force have power over you? It is your life and you have the power to make the things that you want to happen happen. Don’t let your problems have power over you because your problems will never be bigger than you are. In fact, when you finally make the decision to face your problem head on, the problem that you are facing will slowly start to shrink down in size, and once you figure out a way to tackle the problem that problem that once seemed so big will start to become so little that you start to wonder why you ever feared that problem in the first place. You are stronger than you think you are positive thinker, and you can overcome the challenges life throws your way.

So remember, “When you fear your struggles, your struggles consume you. When you face your struggles, you overcome them.”

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I’m sure nobody would complain if every single day of your life was perfect. If you never had to experience heartache or pain again, you would be happy. If you never had to experience another hardship a day in your life then you wouldn’t complain. If there was a way that I could wake up everyday knowing that everything I wanted and needed to happen was going to happen and that nothing or no one would get in my way of experiencing nothing but happiness for the rest of my life then I would be the first person in line to figure out how that could happen. We’d all love it if that was the case, but unfortunately it is not.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows everyday because everybody goes through difficult moments at different points in their lives, and often times when these difficulties do seem to sneak up on us they also seem to be accompanied by stress. They don’t bring us much joy or happiness, and they end up making life more difficult for us. And sometimes when we go through them we may even end up thinking less of ourselves for the battles that we’re going through, but we shouldn’t let this happen.

We all deal with hardships, and many of us have come out on top of these difficulties, even if we thought that we would never overcome them.

You didn’t think that you could get over that nasty break up, but you ended up finding love again.

You never thought you would have ever made it through the death of a loved one, but you found a way to live without his or her physical presence.

You didn’t think that you would ever get out of unemployment, but you did eventually find a job.

You didn’t think that you could stop your home from being foreclosed, but you still have your house.

We may have thought that we would have never been able to deal with those issues that were plaguing our lives, but after some weeks, months, or maybe even years, we were able to come out on top of them. This, positive thinker is by no means an easy task, so you should be proud of what you have overcome. Instead of feeling embarrassed of what we have gone through, we should try and turn those negative feelings into positive ones. If you’ve gone through something and you’ve overcome it, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of what you went through because you were actually able to find a way to conquer that difficulty. And even if you haven’t overcome one of your hardships yet, don’t worry because one day you will, and when you do, take pride in the fact that you were able to overcome it.

And while there are some obstacles that we can seem to conquer, there are others that we have no control over because they will always be a part of our lives forever. Nobody has any choice over the color of their skin, the sex they were born as, or the type of people they’re attracted to, but depending on where you live at in the world being born with a certain kind of these characteristics can end up being a hardship. You also have no control over things like having a life changing diagnosis from your doctor that will end up making your life more difficult down the road. But when we do deal with these types of obstacles, sometimes overcoming them means that we must just learn to embrace the hardships and live with them despite some negativity that it may bring to us.

Instead of hating them we can start to look for and appreciate the good that does come along with that hardship.

You may not be able to change the color of your skin, but you can learn to love the aesthetic and youthful beauty that your dark skin provides you with.

You may not have been born as the dominant sex, but you also aren’t burdened down by being chastised for sharing your emotions and how you truly feel.

You may not have any choice in your sexual orientation, but you can go out there and find the love of your life and revel in the happiness that you share with your partner.

You may not be able to change a scary or life-altering diagnosis, but you can choose to focus on the fact that you have gotten a lot closer with your loved because of your diagnosis.

You can’t change certain hardships that you were born with or that are the result of something genetic, but you can change how you deal with it by looking for and holding on to any inkling of positivity that may accompany it.

Positive thinker your hardships are a part of you, and because they are a part of you they make up an important part of who you are. You wouldn’t be the same person that you are today if you didn’t experience the difficulties that you have experienced thus far in your life, so embrace your hardships, learn from them, and be happy for yourself when you finally do overcome them.

And always remember positive thinkers, “Be proud of: who you are, and everything you’ve overcome.”

Good Vibes

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